And then someone said, you are too young to have problems. Really? Since when did we start classifying problems with age? They say if we feel our problems are too much to handle, look at the ones differently abled and realize the plethora of issues they have to go through everyday to survive in this not so friendly world. Yes indeed we have all done this, or at least suggested someone the same. But is it the right thing to do? How can we ever judge the intensity of pain a person is going through just because they are born with 4 limbs which function normally?
That little kid you see laughing in the playground might have come there just to avoid the fight of parents at home. That friend who always seems to crack the funniest jokes might still be recovering from a heartbreak. That colleague who stays overtime in the office might have lost family members in a terrible accident. That house help who brushed off a bruise as an insect bite might have an abusive husband. That old man who smiled at you as you crossed the park might have kids who want to send him to an old age home. See something? Problems never ever come with age. Some show it, many others choose to shut it behind their smiles.
Look around you for a minute. See all the people who raise their heads as they smile back at you in the warmest way possible? You’ll never know if they are tearing up from within, cause all they have to offer you is a smile that will melt your heart. And just in that one very moment, you chose to judge that they were happy because they seemed so? Don’t, don’t ever do that. We are all so busy trying to put labels on people, we never really care to sit down for a while to know if they are fine.
Ask yourself when was the last time you asked your closest people if they were doing okay? Seems like a stupid question, because they seem all fine. See, you did it again. You again chose to judge before knowing. In a world where there is cut throat competition for survival, we have become so self-centered that we never really seem to think about anything apart from what concerns us. Your family members, your friends, your colleagues, they might all seem ‘okay’, but trust me they are not. There is always something which is bothering them, their insecurities, their fears, their lives. Find some time in your busy life and ask them if they are feeling okay. You’ll be surprised to see the look on their faces. More often than not, they’ll lower their sights, let out a sigh and there will be a silence for at least a few seconds. They might proceed by saying they are fine with the best possible fake smile they can put on, but you’ll always get your answer in that silence. If the person is really close to you, say nothing and hold their hands or hug them. Let them know you are there if they need a person to share something. We see so less of this in today’s world that I believe this is the most important thing the world needs today.
“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.
Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.”
― Stephen Fry
You might not know, but that reassuring silence of yours might help someone not get into depression. This generation is a set of broken, damaged souls, scared to show their scars. The fear of being judged, misunderstood is causing people to shut themselves from the world, go into a state of depression, because they have no one to share their problems with. Lend your ears to others, listen to them. Let them confide in you their deepest fears and cry their hearts out. The relief on their faces after the conversation will surely be worth your time.
And if you are wondering why I’m asking you to do this, let’s face it. You too are trying to cope up with your problems. Having someone who would listen to you without judging you, someone who genuinely wants to see you happy, someone to whom you can always turn for help, is something your heart truly craves for. So you see, if you want it, people around you might be in need of the same too.
Stop judging. Start talking. Share heartfelt smiles. Spread love. The world needs so much more of it. Don’t let the world die. Remember, you’ll only get what you give.